The Hairy Truth

Tonight I am blogging from Seth's Coffee in Little Chute, Wisconsin about 10 minutes north of Appleton. This place is FILLED with people right now and LOUD live music. Seth's wife Kate is here selling her pottery. A big factor in my lovage of this place is Mr. Seth sells my FAVORITE coffee Intelligensia!

Below are my thoughts on facial hair I promised in an earlier post named "Attraction".

Subconsciously perhaps, I have always loved most forms of facial hair. As a little girl I remember my Daddy "bearding" me when he came home from work. He picked me up and along with kisses for his baby girl, he rubbed his whiskers on my soft cheeks that elicited a scream, "DADDY STOP". But, of course I love it and looked forward to it every day.

I attended a wedding last December where I spotted a mustache to end all mustaches. The groom's friend Craig had grown this thing out just for him. It was robust enough to be parted in the middle, along with the ends being waxed and twisted. But this mustache was LOADED with character. It was LIGHT RED in color and THICK. I'm pretty sure you could have hid a small child in there. When I saw his mustache, I felt like I was being slowly drawn in tractor beam style. This baby had what we call in the mustache world MACHISMO! Machismo is defined as having strong or aggressive masculine pride.

I view facial hair on men as a basic expression of masculinity. The information below confirms my hunches . . .

Dr. Daniel G. Freedman, of the University of Chicago, did research on the reproductive value of male beardedness. To test his theory, Dr. Freedman and his graduate students asked a group of undergraduates of their feelings about beardedness by giving them questionnaires and interviewing them. Furthermore, one of the graduate students interviewed seven women about their feelings toward men with beards. The female students rated a bearded male face as more masculine, independent, sophisticated and mature compared to a clean-shaven male face. They concluded from their studies that a beard increases “sexual magnetism” and attractiveness and makes men more appealing to women. The presence of a beard makes a man appear more masculine to a woman, and she feels more feminine towards him.

My second stumbling over amazing facial hair was early one morning in the gym, on the treadmill, watching ESPN pro baseball highlights. They showed a clip of the Giant's closing pitcher, Mr. Brian Wilson. My eyes widened and I nearly fell off the treadmill because I forgot to stop running. I was just amazed. Pure and simple. If you are a male with facial hair you get a few more brownie points in my book!

FEAR THE BEARD!

Friendly Ingredients

Natasha - Anaheim Hills, California

Having a friend you can count on is a good thing. In a fast paced world, keeping up with friendships can be a challenge. Like everything you must make time. Pick up the phone, call, ask how is life, is there anything I can do for you, listen, laugh, love. When I call my friends they will tell me . . . "You know, I was JUST thinking about you!!" My response is, "When you THINK about me, CALL me just like I'm CALLING you right now." 

In this post I'm giving you a few of my ingredients to a good friendship. Along with those ingredients I will sprinkle in pictures friends that have had an incredible impact on my life. Above is Natasha. She is full of energy, ideas, passion and love. Our recent conversations have contained LAUGHS, stories, current life NEWS, things going on in Wisconsin, things going on in California, her begging me to move away from Wisconsin, me telling her I love it here. Big smile. I love everything about you Nat!

Steph, Sara, Beth - Panera Bread - Appleton, WI

It's Thursday. I just got home from a draining yet fulfilling day at work and I am ready to do some relaxing! Cook some dinner. Make a pot of tea. No schedule. No have tos. I crash into my favorite green recliner and flip the foot rest up. Turn on the national news. Turn on the laptop to surf a bit. Deep breaths. Fall into relaxation mode. AHHH. Feels good. Then I hear my phone RRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!!!! Looking at the caller ID I prejudge how this conversation will go. This person NEVER calls. I wonder what they NEED. Another ring. Do I answer? Thinking. GRRRR! I just got home! I don't want to sit on the phone for who knows how long! Another ring. I answer. What follows is sweet conversation. Am I really that selfish? Am I really that self centered? You Bet I am. Continue reading . . . 

Virginia & Diana - Appleton, WI

I am amazed at the amount of friends calling me for marriage and parenting advice. Me, the single girl. Me, the childless girl. The conversation will always start with the respectable. "Shellbuck, I just need you to tell me something funny to make me laugh! Tell me a story. I need to hear you laugh. Please!" I smile, guessing this friend is in a swirl of frustrations on the home front. So, I walk down memory lane with them for a bit. Calm them down. Make them step back from the ledge. LAUGH until our bellies hurt and our faces reflect a permanent smile. Then a pause in the conversation allows me to go in for the kill. "OK. Enough of the entertainment. Lay it on me. What is really going on? Work? Children? Marriage?" And I listen. And listen. Left hand begins to tingle with numbness. I switch the phone to my right ear. Still listening. Absorbing. One key here is SHUTTING YOUR MOUTH AND LISTENING. I stand with fingers curled in fists. Veins popping out of my neck declaring this - SHUT UP! ZIP YOUR LIPS! LISTEN! People normally do not want advice. They know the recipe. They know what to do and what not to do. They just need to verbalize. They just need to expel all the frustrations in their mind. All you need to do is listen. That's all. I am safe to talk to. I keep their secrets. They know I am a true friend. A friend that WILL - after listening - tell my friend it always takes two to tango. I know my friend on the other side of the telephone. Their vices. Their pros and cons. I call them out. You are being selfish and self centered. Stop focusing only on the children and your outside responsibilities as #1. Your priority is your spouse. If it's not, you will loose them. Period. The cycle of hurt in a relationship goes round and round and YOU have the opportunity to stop it. Don't expect immediate results. Your spouse is jaded with years of hurt. Let's start the process of repair and let that begin with you making a deliberate choice in the right direction. 

Momma & Me - March 2011 - At the TRI airport in Bristol just before I flew back to WI

I cherish every conversation with my parents more than gold. I hear my Momma's sweet southern voice on the phone. When my phone rings reflecting parents on the caller ID, I  answer without hesitation. I hear my Momma say, "Well hello Momma's baby. How are you precious? How is work?" The only call I will interrupt a conversation for is one from my parents. I too will call and EXPLODE frustrations through the phone to Momma & Daddy. My Daddy - in typical male form - will want to offer advice, a solution to the problem. My mom will cover the phone with her hand. Look at my dad and say, "Don Randall, she does not want advice. She is just venting. Let her talk! AND if at the end of her rant she ASKS what you think . . . THEN and only then you tell her your opinions." In March of this year I helped them move back to our home town of Clintwood, Virginia. My heart aches missing them. However, I know this place is best for them. There will come a day when I cannot call them or see them. They will be gone. But until that day I will love them, listen to them and seek their counsel.

Beth & Me - Appleton, Wisconsin

The Amazing Mark - College Avenue, Appleton, Wisconsin

Me, Brandi & Brandy - Coal Creek Canyon, Colorado

Carissa & Amber - Appleton, Wisconsin

Monik & Melanie - Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Colleen & Jeff - Virginia Beach, Virginia

Tanya & Me - Iron Mountain, Michigan

Carissa & Janelle - Appleton, Wisconsin

Me & Kim - Macon, Georgia

Mindy Jo - Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Maria & Baby Girl Riley - Coeburn, VA

Nicole - Phoenix, Arizona

Joe & Craig - Green Bay, Wisconsin

Jill - Appleton, Wisconsin

Chad - Appleton, Wisconsin

David & Esther - Virginia Beach, Virginia

YOU have the amazing opportunity to influence another person for the good with your attentive ear and calming words. Step out of the box this week. Answer the phone when it rings. That person needs you. They miss you. Resolve to sacrifice for your friends. The phone will ring this week at a time that is most inconvenient for you with a friend on the other side full of anxiety needing your help. Listen. Encourage. Love. Answer the phone when it rings. And if you are the one having a hard time . . . give me a ring.

I will end with one of my favorite quotes for you to ponder this week.

Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advise, or coach or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.

Margaret J. Wheatley

Morning Hair

What grabs your attention?

What mesmerizes you?
What captivates your gaze?

What appeals to your visual senses?

An artist will capture an image in their mind and put it into form through their choice of medium. Clay. Charcoal. Oil. Watercolor. Metal. Photography. Bronze. The list could go on. Many people look at a piece of art and wrinkle their nose because their mind perceives a bitter taste upon looking. Not understanding. Quickly passing by. Going on to the next. Hoping for something more appealing to their visual senses. My mind loves art of all kinds. Art is an expression of the heart, soul and mind of the creator artist. We turn our nose up at a piece because we cannot understand its origin. The maker. The artist. The hands transformed as a channel through which this image or concept makes an entrance into the concrete world. All you have to do is stand and look. That's all. Look sans judging. Look at this beautiful image. Beautiful because the artist places all their emotions out there for the entire world to see. Art features a glimpse into the soul of the artist. 

I received a phone call in January 2010 from my close friend Chad and it went something like this -

"HAWKINKS! Call the Appleton Art center and sign up for their pottery class in February! DO IT! What else do we have going on the middle of this never ending Wisconsin winter??"

So, I made a phone call. Signed up. Paid my $120 class fee and waited with anticipation. My brother threw lots of ceramics in college and his stuff turned out great. How hard could it be? Surely I have a shot at this. I bought a book - The Beginners Guide To Pottery by Emily Reason. I watched hours of YouTube videos with beginners and experts throwing. This class EXCITED me! My mind convinced me I would walk out of the class a master potter like Sue our instructor.

Class numero uno. 

Here is the clay. Here is the wheel. Here is what you do to the clay before you throw it. Watch me make a few things. Here are important things to remem . . . . blah blah blah blah. Sue's voice sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. After all I read the books and watch the videos and knew everything she was saying ALREADY! I JUST WANTED TO THROW SOME CLAY! So, I hunkered down in this short chair built for a 1st grader. Legs straddling the wheel like playing the cello. I was ready! Clay in hand I SMACKED it HARD against the wheel. My right foot controlled the speed of the wheel and she was in first gear now baby! Mmm Hmm! We were cookin! Dipping my hands in the water bucket, I attempted my first little baby bowl. Just a bowl. Not a plate or teapot or planter or vase. Just.A.Bowl. It turned out horrid. I was SOOOOOOO mad at myself!

I cleaned up my work station and went over to the side tables to do some pinching. Pinching is rolling the clay out and forming things by hand. I pinched the little tiny teacup pictured below.

That class was an amazing realization to me of this frustration buried deep inside I had never seen surface. WOAH! Chill out Shelli! It's only pottery. I just love this little mug. It reminds me of that day and the emotion I felt. It may not look like much to you but, to me it means the world.

People around me are like art. I look at them. Observe them. Decide if I want to talk to them. Rarely do I think how they will respond when I approach them uninvited. In my social mind EVERYONE loves conversation. In my loving mind EVERYONE wants to feel care. In my compassionate mind EVERYONE wants an ear to listen. And here comes Shelli Hawkins! Let the conversation begin!

I noticed a couple in the first class. My impression of Beth was graceful, quiet, a listener. My impression of Mark was explosive energy. I started talking to them and found out Mark was a community leader and Beth was a fantastically talented photographer and owned Trove Photoraphy. Mark and Beth helped me make one of the most life changing decisions of my adult life. They are amazing people and I love them with all my heart. I am glad I made a choice to talk to them that day.

The next time you're in a mad rush at the store or mall, take a second and notice the people around you. What are they subconsciously communicating? Say hello. Do it. What could it hurt? You could make a friend for life. 

Look at the art around you in the people that surround you.

Notice

Observe

Encourage

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The picture below is one of my favorites I shot randomly bouncing around the studio giving others a chance at the wheel.

I title this piece of art
Morning Hair

Friday Night Thoughts

Tonight I'm blogging from my favorite green recliner in my living room. A lazy, cool breeze blows through my windows. I can hear vehicles traveling up and down highway 41. Crunchy crispy leaves roll around outside. Not to be overly cheesy - but I hear the wind whistling through the trees too. Believe it because it's true. Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year. Period. OH YES! Before I forget . . WAY TO GO BREW CREW on beating ARIZONA! YEE HAWW!

I am just going to pen thoughts rolling through my brain tonight. WARNING - my brain does not work like yours so, not all of this will make sense to you. Here we go . . .


Can you imagine perfect communication? Never being misunderstood. WOW! Think about that. I remember a situation at work a few years back where I CLEARLY (or so I thought) told my boss somthing and was misunderstood. I WAS SO FRUSTRATED! And then a week later I had ANOTHER miscommunication with a co-worker. Hearing them tell me . ."No Shelli, that is not what you said." I pulled my boss and co-worker in a room and looking at them said, "I am the one with communication issues here!" Do you ever hear, "NOOO YOUUU ARE NOT LISTENING!!" or "NOOO YOUUU ARE NOT HEARING ME!!" Woah! Talk about communication issues! Do you maybe need to work on your communication skills a bit? Life would be so much easier if we all commuicated the same way but it sure would be BORING!

How much time do we waste explaining ourselves and the message we communicate? What contributes to communication failure? Fatigue. Emotions. Ignorance. Jumping to conclusions. Assumptions.

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We are creatures of habit.We enjoy a life of consistency, predictability, security, normalcy, dependable companions, routine. Life void of uninvited interruptions like death, illness, divorce, close friends moving away. Also, your stage of life dictates your gravational pull to these bump-on-a-cumber type mentalities.

I challenge you to do SOMETHING spontaneous and unplanned today. Break free from the norm for a second!!

I loathe normal. I love ENERGY. I believe everything happens for a reason. EVERYTHING. The good. The bad. The rip your heart out of you chest because you lost a parent or a child or a spouse. Sigh. So many good times. So many heartaches. We just never know what will happen next. Who we will meet. What will change our course? I love life!

And that's all I've got.

Cathy

While relaxing in my Starbucks on Northland Avenue in Appleton, Wisconsin tonight I met a lady. Her name was Cathy. So sweet. So Funny. I talked to her for over an hour. She slowly held her right hand up and spelled out with the sign language alphabet her name. Cathy is deaf.

I learned sign language in high school with my best friend Kim. I just can't believe how much I remembered. It came back to me like I was riding a bike.

WE LAUGHED SO HARD MY BELLY HURTS! At one point my hands were moving SO fast she put her hand on my knee and smiled then signed - Maybe you should slow down on the coffee my dear. And that made me LAUGH even more! HAHAHAHA! I have a new friend. her name is Cathy and we are meeting for coffee next week again.

Food & Conversations

A great venue for building relationships, getting to know people, venting and seeking advice is dining out. Below are a few places I adore and should you have a mysterious GPS chip in my arm you will find me at one of these locations. Each location will have a link to their website. Enjoy!!

Brewed Awakenings

107 East College Avenue

Appleton, WI

Tasty Alterra coffee, bagels, muffins, gelato and MUCH MORE!

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Copper Rock Coffee Company

210 W. College Ave. Suite B
Appleton, WI 54911

Copper Rock is you great local coffee hang out with a host of fantastic food choices.

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Zuppas Market Cafe & Catering

1540 South Commercial Street

Neenah, WI

The food at Zuppas is always fresh, creative and fabulously flavorful!

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Cannova's Pizzeria

113 Wisconsin Avenue

Neenah WI

Cannova's ranks as one of my top choices for dining on any given night. You will not go wrong when you order a thin and crispy crust pizza with their humongous house salad topped with Italian meats, olives, mixed greens and house dressing.

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Venue

527 West College Avenue

Appleton, WI 54914

Venue is a great place for tapas!!

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Carmella's an Italian Bistro

716 N. Casaloma Drive

Appleton, WI 54913 

Carmella's is far and away my favorite place to eat in the last year.
This is the vision of two sisters and you can read their story here.

A Christmas gift from my sister.

She know what I like!!

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Fratellos

501 West Water Street

Appleton, WI 54911

Fratellos sits on the Fox River giving a beautiful view as you dine.

Amy & Tanya

Tanya's doodling as we wait on our food

A melt-in-your-mouth chocolate ganache torte.

Mind blowing!

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IL Angolo Resto-Bar
201 North Appleton Street
Appleton, WI 54911

I would put Il Angolo in the top 5 restaurants in the Appleton area.

 Classy. Up scale. LOVE IT!!

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A few months ago this food truck appeared in the streets of downtown Appleton. After eating here a half dozen times or so, I can confidently recommend the food truck called Kangaroostautant!

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Kavarna Coffeehouse

143 N. Broadway Street

Green Bay, WI 54303

Kavarna is a staple in downtown Green Bay serving amazing dishes, sandwiches and Alterra coffee.

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Serious Burger 

4353 W. WISCONSIN AVE.

APPLETON, WI

This place is SERIOUS about burgers and have delicious sweet potato fries! SB strives to buy everything in Wisconsin. Fresh and Good.

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Seth's Coffee and Bake Shop
106 E. Main Street
Little Chute, WI 54140

No doubt about it . . . these boys know how to brew some amazing coffee.
Seth Lentz demands the best when he serves you a cup of Intelligensia coffee.

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Plum Hill Cafe
313 Dodge Street
Kaukauna, WI 54130

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Alterra is a Milwaukee based roasting company.
Delish! I love me some Alterra.

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Formosa

221 East College Street

Iowa City, IA

I dined at Formosa with the ladies you see below - Lisa & Mindy.

This was Mindy's FIRST taste of sushi and she LOVED it!

Lisa

Mindy

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Java Creek Cafe

588 Boyson Road

Cedar Rapids, IA

A good coffee shop in CR.

Frequent guest are called Creek Freaks!

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Lucci's back When Cafe

606 North 3rd Street

Wausau, WI

While living in the Wausau, WI area, I frequented Lucci's. Never a disappointment. Lucci's focus is on the slow food movement.

Slow Food Movement

The primary principle behind Chef Jolene Lucci's culinary style is the 'Slow Food Movement'. The 'Movement' is an international organization that was founded in Italy by Italian Master Chef Carlo Petrini and promotes biodiversity in wine and food culture and opposes the standardisation of taste.

What this means for our guests is that we use nothing but the freshest ingredients, organically and locally grown whenever possible. There are no 'canned' sauces or cheap ingredients such as powdered spices or imitation herbs. We strive to provide you with the best dining experience possible and we believe this starts with fresh wholesome foods.

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Mo's ~ A Place for Steaks

720 North Plankinton Avenue

Milwaukee, WI 

Hey Ladies! Let me show you your choice of steaks tonight! 

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Kil@wat

123 Kilboun Ave

Milwaukee, WI

A popular appetizer is the Hot Rock!
This round rock is heated to 500 degrees and the thin slices of Kobe beef on the right are laid on the rock and cooked to perfection.

The walls are a microfiber.

As you can see I had a litttle fun.

I have dined at Kil@wat twice. the first time with 3 girlfriends prior to the Punch Brother's Concert at the Pabst Theatre. The second time with my sister for our annual girl's weekend to Milwaukee. A fantastic treat! 

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LET'S MEET FOR COFFEE OR DINNER SOMETIME!!