What direction are you feet pointed?

I received a phone call on Wednesday June 3rd, 2020 letting me know my Momma was in the hospital in Bristol, Tennessee with a kidney infection. I left New Hampton, Iowa at noon that day and arrived at the hospital the following day. Momma was further diagnosed with pneumonia and sepsis. She was released the following Sunday and is home healing. Below are the realizations I’ve made and lessons I've learned since my time home with my Momma and Daddy in the mountains of Virginia I call home.

1. After seeing all of the hospital rooms filled with very sick people I imagined many were there because of choices they made. This shell I have called my body is the only one I will have until the day I die. Every decision I make good and bad with my body will manifest either immediately or in the future. I don’t want to be on a host of prescription pills because of the poor choices I made years ago. My choice to eat healthy, exercise, slow down and simply breathe will directly impact my mental health and quality of life. 

2. My parents have lived a very simple frugal life. We didn't travel much at all and going out to eat was an extravagance. When you have a Momma that cooks as good as mine, there’s no need to eat out. My parents' recipe for child raising at the time was - unconditional love, happiness, work hard and a testimony of spending money wisely and saving for the future. . There will always be things and experiences to spend money on. Sitting still and enjoying the simplicity of conversation with friends is more valuable than anything that can be purchased. I need to slow down, save more, spend less and love the calm that only simplicity of life choices can bring. If your life is too stressful and busy make a choice today as a family, couple or individual to have a weekend screen free with nothing on the schedule. Call it the special weekend. Then slowly eliminate the unnecessary noise that keeps you from peace. 

3. Decisions are made with the tools you have in your tool box at that time. Your power to equip your children, mentor co-workers, train employees and be an example to friends with your leadership and learning is free and invaluable. My parents have equipped me and my siblings with an incredible amount of common sense and a strong work ethic. My father told me last week that while the decision I make right now may seem insignificant or not come with major consequences I need to  look at the direction my feet are pointed. What path could this decision potentially take me down. 

4. Life is too short to hang on to unresolved conflict. Let it go. Pick your battles. Hurt becomes anger. Unresolved anger will turn into bitterness and make you impatient, judgemental and just plain unbearable to those around you. You may not be a morning person but you can still be kind to those around you. As long as we live we will be incontact with myriads of negative attitudes, arrogance and sarcasm. You are in control of the garbage you allow in your brain and your life. Just the same with the food we eat, you control what you look at, hear and retain. Remember there are people that wake up without ever having the intention of being happy. Make it a life practice to quickly identify those people and run from them. Choose to add people builders to your life. 

I know for the decades to come in my life I will forever reflect on this time with Mom & Dad and realize the sweetness of the fellowship over the last 38 day with them. This time in Virginia has bee truly life changing. I’m pointing my feet in a good direction. 

My Current State of Mind - No Faking

This is an amazingly relaxing day with a light snow falling in Appleton, WI. I think I will pen my thoughts and let you in on a few secrets rolling around in my head today. Sound like fun? Let's go!

I am 39 years old. 39 is amazing - no faking. I have absolutely loved every part of my 30s - good and bad. Below are a few things I have realized in my 30s about life and about me. 

I have never loved people the way I do now. It's not more love. It's different love. A love with compassion. Before I would see a single mom with 2 screaming kids at the grocery store loaded with piercings and tattoos and think to myself - How many bad decisions do you need to make to realize your way is not best? I would see the blood shot eyes of a drunk down town and walk by thinking - he made his bed and now he's realizing his consequences. So quick to judge and not looking at my own life. When friends would make bad decisions, I confronted them. When they kept making the same bad decisions, they were no longer my friend. Period. My mouth rolled with opinions - You need to do this. You should stop doing that. What you should have done was this. Talking and not listening. Judging so quickly with a glance from my eyes instead of stopping and looking. I strive to love deeper, with purpose.

I am realizing more and more the true effect of diet and exercise not only on my current health but the future impact of my health. As of this blog post I do not feel pain in my body at all ever. I go to the doctor every year for a physical with no issues. I could camp on this one for about a novel's worth of words so I will try to summarize. I make a choice every day with every bite I eat to either be proactive about my health or reactive. The food I eat is what I give my body to make my bones and skin and muscles etc. As the old saying goes - You are what you eat. I realize I don't want to be wheeled into surgery knowing my choices could have prevented this. My current health and heath in my later years is sculpted by my diet and exercise choices.

I am a self proclaimed hedonistic seeker of pleasure. I hate this about myself and seek to change it. I don't think this is abnormal behavior but working on keeping it in check.

Life is as complicated as you make it. Without kids and a spouse, I fully recognize the simplicity of my life. But, I could say YES to everyone and everything spreading myself so thin my relationships feel the negative impact of this resulting exhaustion. When I feel my life getting too complicated I start saying no. I also realize that every moment doesn't have to be filled or scheduled. Standing still and doing nothing is ok. Having a blank day or two or three is ok. I don't have to always be going. I can make choices to make my life as simple or as complex as I choose. Life is a complicated as you make it.

Everyone learns life lessons when they are ready to and not a moment sooner. The best way to encourage and influence friends is to live it and be an example.

It is never to late to try something new. Never.

No level of communication can change a person's mind unless they are open to change.

My faith has become my own. I am no longer going through the motions of religion but rather embracing my God and listening to his word to guide me. For years I followed step by step in the dos and dont's of religion. Never questioning, just mindlessly floating - that was my fault.

Becoming selfish and self centered can happen to me so much faster because I am single and I'm the only person I have to care for. So, I make choices to give back because I can.

If you are reading this and you are 49, 59, 69, 79 or 89 you remember what it was like to be 39. Where you were at that time. The season of life you were experiencing. Some of you wish you could go back to 39 and make different choices. Some may have made a crossroad decision that changed your life for the better. If you are 9, 19 or 29 my current age of 39 may seem OLD and a lifetime away. It's not old and it will catch up to you in moments.

I am 39 and I know I will blink and be 89. It takes a lifetime to learn how to live and I want to make good choices with purpose. 


A special thank you to my true friend Mark DesJardin for the inspiration to write down these realizations. He, along with his wife Beth, challenge me to live with purpose and compassion.

Delays, Diamonds & Dinner

Follow along as I lay the foundation for a recent encounter . . . .

You just never know what will happen when your little crusty peepers open in the morning. Something could happen today changing the course of your life. Speaking of courses . . . A sailor likes a consistent steady wind to reach their destination in a reasonable amount of time. I set my destination, chart my course, hoist my sails and launch my boat. Simple. But in the middle my perfect reach across the water, I notice the strips of cassette tape tied to my side stays moving indicating a shift in wind direction. I still have to get to my destination. So, I reroute my course. Use your imagination to draw all the life parallels from this story. I continue on . . . .

I spent Thanksgiving in my hometown of Clintwood, VA with my family. On my way there I took 2 planes - Appleton to Atlanta then Atlanta to Bristol. I left Appleton, WI at 6:30a.m. and arrived in Bristol, TN at 11:30p.m. Simple. Just like the trip there, my flight back to Appleton had me on the same two planes - only in reverse. Bristol to Atlanta then Atlanta to Appleton. Well, the time to go home arrived. The parents dropped me off at the airport with hugs and kisses. Destination set to Appleton, Wisconsin. My flights home, as I mentioned earlier was TRI to ATL to ATW. Course Charted. I buckled up in this small CJ100 and . . . . the flight is delayed. And delayed. And delayed. When we got to Atlanta my flight and the last flight to Appleton was gone. There were no more flights to Appleton that evening.

Can you see the cassette tapes shifting?

So, I visited the local ticket counter and received apologies from the agent who handed me a voucher for a hotel and $24 for food. So, should I just go to my hotel room and pine away?? OH NO! Let's do this evening Shelli Hawkins style! It was after all dinner time and the Atlanta Airport has a great restaurant on concourse E - One Flew South.

 I felt myself being sucked into Concourse E like a Dyson sucks dirt! So, I bee bopped my little delayed, hungry, mildly aggravated self over to One Flew South and sat down for some dinner. The meal was a perfect prescription for my temporary shift in course. Sylvia is my favorite waitress at OFS. When she sees me coming she knows what I like to drink and always surprises me with something new the chef is cooking up. Below are just a few of their dishes.

With my belly full and my mind a little more at ease, I guessed it was time to journey to this hotel called the Clarion. Back on the tram. Walk across the street. Wait for the Clarion Hotel bus to arrive . . . . and wait . . and wait . . . 40 minutes of waiting. The Clarion Hotel crowd was growing and getting a little grumpy. FINALLY the little short bus arrives. We pack in this thing like sardines in a can. Everyone on board is tired, frustrated by delays and ready for bed. After all passengers are on board our driver stands in the front and declares in an enthusiastic, energetic voice, "Hello everyone!! Welcome to the Clarion Hotel! The GREATEST hotel on EARF!" He then puts his right hand on his chest and announces, "My name is Rashad but, the ladies call me BIG SEXY!" The bus erupted in laughter. We loved it! I was sure he said that on a regular basis but, I didn't care. Big Sexy was hilarious and another prescription for laughter to help ease his weary crowd. The hotel was nice. Clean. I don't remember much because once I settled myself in the room, I was checking my eyelids for leaks.

Delta changed my course. In the morning I would leave Atlanta, fly to Detroit and end in Appleton.  The light is at the end of the tunnel. Destination in sight!

5a.m. came early. I drug my body to the little short shuttle bus parked in the front of the hotel at 6 a.m. I went through security with no problems. Flight to Detroit left at 9 a.m. I was sitting on the left side of the plane in the middle of 3 seats on a 747. The lady to the left of me was young. 20 maybe. When she saw me, she pulled both strings of the hood in her sweatshirt tight to close off the world. She then laid her head against the chair and fell asleep before we took off. The lady to the right of me looked to be in her mid 70s and she was classically beautiful. My Aunt Chris is a vivacious 74 and this lady now seated next to me bore strong similarities. Her hair was grey but cut in a trendy style. Makeup was minimal and highlighted all the right spots. Her nose was buried in a book. Taking a deep breath I thought, "Well, I guess there will be no conversations on this flight." So I settled into my magazine. About 20 minutes into the flight, I was regretting drinking the ultra large black coffee with my breakfast. Lightly tapping the lady to my right, I smiled and asked if she could get up and let me out to visit the bathroom. I could hear her huff of disgust. Hmph! Like a school girl crossing her arms and stomping her foot, she did not want to get up out of her chair. I felt terrible for inconveniencing her.

After returning to my seat and settling back in for the remainder of my flight, I open my magazine to the dog eared page revealing an article on the wonders of Morocco. A few minutes later the classy lady to my right peeked out of her novel and asked, "Is Detroit your final destination?" The shrill of her New York accent pierced the air. "No, I live in Appleton, WI and hopefully will arrive there this evening." I replied. She wore black tailored slacks, a beige silky shell and a thin wool black sweater with a beautiful red necklace. Her mouth started moving like an army tank that would not be stopped. I said to her, "By your accent, I'm guessing your are not originally from Detroit." She smiled and said she was from New York. Her and her husband were retired and lived in Detroit. He was a physician and she a school teacher. Palm Beach, Florida was their winter home and she was returning from Thanksgiving there with her family. They had two sons. Both were doctors. One lived in Japan and the other in Florida. Then she started talking about her grand children. I smiled and listened. Thinking of all the amazing life experiences contained in the woman sitting next to me. She would ask me quick yes or no questions and then go right back into what ever she was talking about. She made me smile.

I told her this trip to Virginia was supposed to be a surprise . . . "I REMEMBER SURPRISING MY PARENTS ONE YEAR FOR THANKSGIVING!" She completely interrupted me in the most charming way that one could not be offended. She went on to tell about one year while in college, she and her identical twin sister flew home to New York surprising her parents for Thanksgiving. After knocking on their front door her father answered. He saw his beautiful young girls in front of him and said, "WHAT'S WRONG?? WHAT HAPPENED? WHY ARE YOU HERE?" HAHA! After hugging him and telling him it was a surprise they saw their mother in the kitchen. Can you guess what she said? "WHAT'S WRONG??" HAHA! Love it! Of course they had an enjoyable vacation with their family.

As she talked her hands waved wildy around with gestures. At one point I almost went blind when the sun perfectly reflected off the diamond solitaire on her left ring finger and into my eye. I could tell her stories were beginning to wind down so I mentioned, "Your diamond is beautiful!!" Like all women, she was embarrassed because she thought it needed to be cleaned. This diamond was so beautiful. I admired it throughout our whole conversation. She told me her husband paid $2500 for it when they were engaged in 1956. Priceless. What a wonderful lady. I loved the passion in her voice. I loved her stories. Nothing meant more to her than her family. I loved my plane ride from Atlanta to Detroit.

I got off that plane in the Detroit airport and realized my 12:30 flight to Appleton was canceled.

Cassette tapes continues to shift.

Delta put me on the 5:30 p.m. flight and I arrived home in Appleton around 7 p.m. When I got home that night I sliced my thumb to the bone in 2 places and went to the E.R. but, I will save that story for another post.

Never take for granted the amazingness that will fill your day when you wake up in the morning.

Have You Ever Met Yourself?

I find myself at the nearly empty Starbucks on Northland Avenue this evening. The beautiful music of Sarah Jarosz lightly plays in my ears as I sip this black coffee and think over events of the last week.

www.sarahjarosz.com

Perception is reality. How do people perceive you? I remember my close college friend, Kayla Akins sitting me down telling me, "Shelli, when people first meet you . . umm . . well . . .You scare them. You are a little too forward." That day my true friend Kayla helped me become more self aware. Do you realize how you project yourself? I certainly have calmed down since my late teens early 20s. Perception certainly is reality when you meet someone new. 

Let's say I'm at a gathering of friends. I spot a few unfamiliar faces. In my mind I would be strongly drawn to those people wanting to meet, verse, discover, learn, absorb and hopefully make a new friend. My approach now is a little slower. For the last 12 months I have become more self aware than ever before. Think about how much analyzing you do during the first few conversations with someone new. Do their annoying ticks JUMP out at you? Do you appreciate their undeniable excitement of the moment most assuredly created by the sugar, caffeine and other elements? Do they nervously chat or do they quietly sip their drink staring in their glass hoping you will create conversation? People create layers of color in your life. Is your life a top sheet and comforter or are you a buttery napoleon with multiple layers of puff pastry? Are you happy with the colors in your life. If so . . GREAT! If not . . create some conversations.

Last Saturday I babysat three amazing children!! We went to a park. Ate Candy. Went to the library. Ate candy. Ate Dinner. Went to another park. Ate more candy. Came home and watched a movie. One of them commented, "Miss Shelli, this is the SUGARYEST day we have ever had!!" While watching the kids have fun at the park pictured above a random lady sitting on the small version of the Space Shuttle started talking to me. "Your children are just adorable!!" Of course I replied letting her know these were not my children. Focused on my new Kindle I guessed this would be then end of the conversation. That would be a big no! Question after question after question. Are you from the area? Why did you move here? How many siblings? Are you married/children? As I stood near this mid 50ish lady answering the machine gun of ?s, I realized I met myself, only a few years down the road. She was there with her daughter and her daughter's 2 children. She let me know her daughter was working on her doctoral degree and her daughter's husband suddenly passed away a year ago at the age of 35 from a heart attack. There was a pause. She looked at me and I could see the pain. "We just don't understand why this happened. So sudden. It's so hard to see my daughter go through loosing her husband."

I listened and realized in the beginning of our conversation she desperately needed a friend outside her circle just to hear her. After a few minutes of standing, I sat on the grass crossing my legs close to me and opened my ears wide to listen to this lady at the Rocket Ship Park in Neenah, WI. She was visiting her daughter, grand children and now was visiting with me.  Carol was a simple lady that lived in Green Bay. For some reason I envisioned every square inch of her house decorated with figurines, chotchkies, pictures and memorable items gathering dust but each having a special place in her heart. Carol was friendly and not afraid to ask questions of a new person. Deeply impacted by loss and not afraid to share this with a stranger. That day I caught a glimpse of the person I could become and it made me smile.

Do you know someone that closely mirrors your personality? Actions? Reactions? Pictured above is my 4 year old niece Riley Jean. The natural similarities of our personalities amaze me. I watched Riley and her sister Sydney this past Friday night and saw even more similarities. With leotard and ballet slippers on Riley twirled around and around and around on the hardwood floors of the living room. Carefree. Happy. She also shares my short attention span and intense love for people. 

I hope at the end of my life, I am covered in colorful layers of people.

The Hairy Truth

Tonight I am blogging from Seth's Coffee in Little Chute, Wisconsin about 10 minutes north of Appleton. This place is FILLED with people right now and LOUD live music. Seth's wife Kate is here selling her pottery. A big factor in my lovage of this place is Mr. Seth sells my FAVORITE coffee Intelligensia!

Below are my thoughts on facial hair I promised in an earlier post named "Attraction".

Subconsciously perhaps, I have always loved most forms of facial hair. As a little girl I remember my Daddy "bearding" me when he came home from work. He picked me up and along with kisses for his baby girl, he rubbed his whiskers on my soft cheeks that elicited a scream, "DADDY STOP". But, of course I love it and looked forward to it every day.

I attended a wedding last December where I spotted a mustache to end all mustaches. The groom's friend Craig had grown this thing out just for him. It was robust enough to be parted in the middle, along with the ends being waxed and twisted. But this mustache was LOADED with character. It was LIGHT RED in color and THICK. I'm pretty sure you could have hid a small child in there. When I saw his mustache, I felt like I was being slowly drawn in tractor beam style. This baby had what we call in the mustache world MACHISMO! Machismo is defined as having strong or aggressive masculine pride.

I view facial hair on men as a basic expression of masculinity. The information below confirms my hunches . . .

Dr. Daniel G. Freedman, of the University of Chicago, did research on the reproductive value of male beardedness. To test his theory, Dr. Freedman and his graduate students asked a group of undergraduates of their feelings about beardedness by giving them questionnaires and interviewing them. Furthermore, one of the graduate students interviewed seven women about their feelings toward men with beards. The female students rated a bearded male face as more masculine, independent, sophisticated and mature compared to a clean-shaven male face. They concluded from their studies that a beard increases “sexual magnetism” and attractiveness and makes men more appealing to women. The presence of a beard makes a man appear more masculine to a woman, and she feels more feminine towards him.

My second stumbling over amazing facial hair was early one morning in the gym, on the treadmill, watching ESPN pro baseball highlights. They showed a clip of the Giant's closing pitcher, Mr. Brian Wilson. My eyes widened and I nearly fell off the treadmill because I forgot to stop running. I was just amazed. Pure and simple. If you are a male with facial hair you get a few more brownie points in my book!

FEAR THE BEARD!

Friendly Ingredients

Natasha - Anaheim Hills, California

Having a friend you can count on is a good thing. In a fast paced world, keeping up with friendships can be a challenge. Like everything you must make time. Pick up the phone, call, ask how is life, is there anything I can do for you, listen, laugh, love. When I call my friends they will tell me . . . "You know, I was JUST thinking about you!!" My response is, "When you THINK about me, CALL me just like I'm CALLING you right now." 

In this post I'm giving you a few of my ingredients to a good friendship. Along with those ingredients I will sprinkle in pictures friends that have had an incredible impact on my life. Above is Natasha. She is full of energy, ideas, passion and love. Our recent conversations have contained LAUGHS, stories, current life NEWS, things going on in Wisconsin, things going on in California, her begging me to move away from Wisconsin, me telling her I love it here. Big smile. I love everything about you Nat!

Steph, Sara, Beth - Panera Bread - Appleton, WI

It's Thursday. I just got home from a draining yet fulfilling day at work and I am ready to do some relaxing! Cook some dinner. Make a pot of tea. No schedule. No have tos. I crash into my favorite green recliner and flip the foot rest up. Turn on the national news. Turn on the laptop to surf a bit. Deep breaths. Fall into relaxation mode. AHHH. Feels good. Then I hear my phone RRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!!!! Looking at the caller ID I prejudge how this conversation will go. This person NEVER calls. I wonder what they NEED. Another ring. Do I answer? Thinking. GRRRR! I just got home! I don't want to sit on the phone for who knows how long! Another ring. I answer. What follows is sweet conversation. Am I really that selfish? Am I really that self centered? You Bet I am. Continue reading . . . 

Virginia & Diana - Appleton, WI

I am amazed at the amount of friends calling me for marriage and parenting advice. Me, the single girl. Me, the childless girl. The conversation will always start with the respectable. "Shellbuck, I just need you to tell me something funny to make me laugh! Tell me a story. I need to hear you laugh. Please!" I smile, guessing this friend is in a swirl of frustrations on the home front. So, I walk down memory lane with them for a bit. Calm them down. Make them step back from the ledge. LAUGH until our bellies hurt and our faces reflect a permanent smile. Then a pause in the conversation allows me to go in for the kill. "OK. Enough of the entertainment. Lay it on me. What is really going on? Work? Children? Marriage?" And I listen. And listen. Left hand begins to tingle with numbness. I switch the phone to my right ear. Still listening. Absorbing. One key here is SHUTTING YOUR MOUTH AND LISTENING. I stand with fingers curled in fists. Veins popping out of my neck declaring this - SHUT UP! ZIP YOUR LIPS! LISTEN! People normally do not want advice. They know the recipe. They know what to do and what not to do. They just need to verbalize. They just need to expel all the frustrations in their mind. All you need to do is listen. That's all. I am safe to talk to. I keep their secrets. They know I am a true friend. A friend that WILL - after listening - tell my friend it always takes two to tango. I know my friend on the other side of the telephone. Their vices. Their pros and cons. I call them out. You are being selfish and self centered. Stop focusing only on the children and your outside responsibilities as #1. Your priority is your spouse. If it's not, you will loose them. Period. The cycle of hurt in a relationship goes round and round and YOU have the opportunity to stop it. Don't expect immediate results. Your spouse is jaded with years of hurt. Let's start the process of repair and let that begin with you making a deliberate choice in the right direction. 

Momma & Me - March 2011 - At the TRI airport in Bristol just before I flew back to WI

I cherish every conversation with my parents more than gold. I hear my Momma's sweet southern voice on the phone. When my phone rings reflecting parents on the caller ID, I  answer without hesitation. I hear my Momma say, "Well hello Momma's baby. How are you precious? How is work?" The only call I will interrupt a conversation for is one from my parents. I too will call and EXPLODE frustrations through the phone to Momma & Daddy. My Daddy - in typical male form - will want to offer advice, a solution to the problem. My mom will cover the phone with her hand. Look at my dad and say, "Don Randall, she does not want advice. She is just venting. Let her talk! AND if at the end of her rant she ASKS what you think . . . THEN and only then you tell her your opinions." In March of this year I helped them move back to our home town of Clintwood, Virginia. My heart aches missing them. However, I know this place is best for them. There will come a day when I cannot call them or see them. They will be gone. But until that day I will love them, listen to them and seek their counsel.

Beth & Me - Appleton, Wisconsin

The Amazing Mark - College Avenue, Appleton, Wisconsin

Me, Brandi & Brandy - Coal Creek Canyon, Colorado

Carissa & Amber - Appleton, Wisconsin

Monik & Melanie - Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Colleen & Jeff - Virginia Beach, Virginia

Tanya & Me - Iron Mountain, Michigan

Carissa & Janelle - Appleton, Wisconsin

Me & Kim - Macon, Georgia

Mindy Jo - Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Maria & Baby Girl Riley - Coeburn, VA

Nicole - Phoenix, Arizona

Joe & Craig - Green Bay, Wisconsin

Jill - Appleton, Wisconsin

Chad - Appleton, Wisconsin

David & Esther - Virginia Beach, Virginia

YOU have the amazing opportunity to influence another person for the good with your attentive ear and calming words. Step out of the box this week. Answer the phone when it rings. That person needs you. They miss you. Resolve to sacrifice for your friends. The phone will ring this week at a time that is most inconvenient for you with a friend on the other side full of anxiety needing your help. Listen. Encourage. Love. Answer the phone when it rings. And if you are the one having a hard time . . . give me a ring.

I will end with one of my favorite quotes for you to ponder this week.

Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advise, or coach or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.

Margaret J. Wheatley

Morning Hair

What grabs your attention?

What mesmerizes you?
What captivates your gaze?

What appeals to your visual senses?

An artist will capture an image in their mind and put it into form through their choice of medium. Clay. Charcoal. Oil. Watercolor. Metal. Photography. Bronze. The list could go on. Many people look at a piece of art and wrinkle their nose because their mind perceives a bitter taste upon looking. Not understanding. Quickly passing by. Going on to the next. Hoping for something more appealing to their visual senses. My mind loves art of all kinds. Art is an expression of the heart, soul and mind of the creator artist. We turn our nose up at a piece because we cannot understand its origin. The maker. The artist. The hands transformed as a channel through which this image or concept makes an entrance into the concrete world. All you have to do is stand and look. That's all. Look sans judging. Look at this beautiful image. Beautiful because the artist places all their emotions out there for the entire world to see. Art features a glimpse into the soul of the artist. 

I received a phone call in January 2010 from my close friend Chad and it went something like this -

"HAWKINKS! Call the Appleton Art center and sign up for their pottery class in February! DO IT! What else do we have going on the middle of this never ending Wisconsin winter??"

So, I made a phone call. Signed up. Paid my $120 class fee and waited with anticipation. My brother threw lots of ceramics in college and his stuff turned out great. How hard could it be? Surely I have a shot at this. I bought a book - The Beginners Guide To Pottery by Emily Reason. I watched hours of YouTube videos with beginners and experts throwing. This class EXCITED me! My mind convinced me I would walk out of the class a master potter like Sue our instructor.

Class numero uno. 

Here is the clay. Here is the wheel. Here is what you do to the clay before you throw it. Watch me make a few things. Here are important things to remem . . . . blah blah blah blah. Sue's voice sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. After all I read the books and watch the videos and knew everything she was saying ALREADY! I JUST WANTED TO THROW SOME CLAY! So, I hunkered down in this short chair built for a 1st grader. Legs straddling the wheel like playing the cello. I was ready! Clay in hand I SMACKED it HARD against the wheel. My right foot controlled the speed of the wheel and she was in first gear now baby! Mmm Hmm! We were cookin! Dipping my hands in the water bucket, I attempted my first little baby bowl. Just a bowl. Not a plate or teapot or planter or vase. Just.A.Bowl. It turned out horrid. I was SOOOOOOO mad at myself!

I cleaned up my work station and went over to the side tables to do some pinching. Pinching is rolling the clay out and forming things by hand. I pinched the little tiny teacup pictured below.

That class was an amazing realization to me of this frustration buried deep inside I had never seen surface. WOAH! Chill out Shelli! It's only pottery. I just love this little mug. It reminds me of that day and the emotion I felt. It may not look like much to you but, to me it means the world.

People around me are like art. I look at them. Observe them. Decide if I want to talk to them. Rarely do I think how they will respond when I approach them uninvited. In my social mind EVERYONE loves conversation. In my loving mind EVERYONE wants to feel care. In my compassionate mind EVERYONE wants an ear to listen. And here comes Shelli Hawkins! Let the conversation begin!

I noticed a couple in the first class. My impression of Beth was graceful, quiet, a listener. My impression of Mark was explosive energy. I started talking to them and found out Mark was a community leader and Beth was a fantastically talented photographer and owned Trove Photoraphy. Mark and Beth helped me make one of the most life changing decisions of my adult life. They are amazing people and I love them with all my heart. I am glad I made a choice to talk to them that day.

The next time you're in a mad rush at the store or mall, take a second and notice the people around you. What are they subconsciously communicating? Say hello. Do it. What could it hurt? You could make a friend for life. 

Look at the art around you in the people that surround you.

Notice

Observe

Encourage

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The picture below is one of my favorites I shot randomly bouncing around the studio giving others a chance at the wheel.

I title this piece of art
Morning Hair

Friday Night Thoughts

Tonight I'm blogging from my favorite green recliner in my living room. A lazy, cool breeze blows through my windows. I can hear vehicles traveling up and down highway 41. Crunchy crispy leaves roll around outside. Not to be overly cheesy - but I hear the wind whistling through the trees too. Believe it because it's true. Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year. Period. OH YES! Before I forget . . WAY TO GO BREW CREW on beating ARIZONA! YEE HAWW!

I am just going to pen thoughts rolling through my brain tonight. WARNING - my brain does not work like yours so, not all of this will make sense to you. Here we go . . .


Can you imagine perfect communication? Never being misunderstood. WOW! Think about that. I remember a situation at work a few years back where I CLEARLY (or so I thought) told my boss somthing and was misunderstood. I WAS SO FRUSTRATED! And then a week later I had ANOTHER miscommunication with a co-worker. Hearing them tell me . ."No Shelli, that is not what you said." I pulled my boss and co-worker in a room and looking at them said, "I am the one with communication issues here!" Do you ever hear, "NOOO YOUUU ARE NOT LISTENING!!" or "NOOO YOUUU ARE NOT HEARING ME!!" Woah! Talk about communication issues! Do you maybe need to work on your communication skills a bit? Life would be so much easier if we all commuicated the same way but it sure would be BORING!

How much time do we waste explaining ourselves and the message we communicate? What contributes to communication failure? Fatigue. Emotions. Ignorance. Jumping to conclusions. Assumptions.

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We are creatures of habit.We enjoy a life of consistency, predictability, security, normalcy, dependable companions, routine. Life void of uninvited interruptions like death, illness, divorce, close friends moving away. Also, your stage of life dictates your gravational pull to these bump-on-a-cumber type mentalities.

I challenge you to do SOMETHING spontaneous and unplanned today. Break free from the norm for a second!!

I loathe normal. I love ENERGY. I believe everything happens for a reason. EVERYTHING. The good. The bad. The rip your heart out of you chest because you lost a parent or a child or a spouse. Sigh. So many good times. So many heartaches. We just never know what will happen next. Who we will meet. What will change our course? I love life!

And that's all I've got.

Cathy

While relaxing in my Starbucks on Northland Avenue in Appleton, Wisconsin tonight I met a lady. Her name was Cathy. So sweet. So Funny. I talked to her for over an hour. She slowly held her right hand up and spelled out with the sign language alphabet her name. Cathy is deaf.

I learned sign language in high school with my best friend Kim. I just can't believe how much I remembered. It came back to me like I was riding a bike.

WE LAUGHED SO HARD MY BELLY HURTS! At one point my hands were moving SO fast she put her hand on my knee and smiled then signed - Maybe you should slow down on the coffee my dear. And that made me LAUGH even more! HAHAHAHA! I have a new friend. her name is Cathy and we are meeting for coffee next week again.

Food & Conversations

A great venue for building relationships, getting to know people, venting and seeking advice is dining out. Below are a few places I adore and should you have a mysterious GPS chip in my arm you will find me at one of these locations. Each location will have a link to their website. Enjoy!!

Brewed Awakenings

107 East College Avenue

Appleton, WI

Tasty Alterra coffee, bagels, muffins, gelato and MUCH MORE!

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Copper Rock Coffee Company

210 W. College Ave. Suite B
Appleton, WI 54911

Copper Rock is you great local coffee hang out with a host of fantastic food choices.

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Zuppas Market Cafe & Catering

1540 South Commercial Street

Neenah, WI

The food at Zuppas is always fresh, creative and fabulously flavorful!

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Cannova's Pizzeria

113 Wisconsin Avenue

Neenah WI

Cannova's ranks as one of my top choices for dining on any given night. You will not go wrong when you order a thin and crispy crust pizza with their humongous house salad topped with Italian meats, olives, mixed greens and house dressing.

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Venue

527 West College Avenue

Appleton, WI 54914

Venue is a great place for tapas!!

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Carmella's an Italian Bistro

716 N. Casaloma Drive

Appleton, WI 54913 

Carmella's is far and away my favorite place to eat in the last year.
This is the vision of two sisters and you can read their story here.

A Christmas gift from my sister.

She know what I like!!

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Fratellos

501 West Water Street

Appleton, WI 54911

Fratellos sits on the Fox River giving a beautiful view as you dine.

Amy & Tanya

Tanya's doodling as we wait on our food

A melt-in-your-mouth chocolate ganache torte.

Mind blowing!

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IL Angolo Resto-Bar
201 North Appleton Street
Appleton, WI 54911

I would put Il Angolo in the top 5 restaurants in the Appleton area.

 Classy. Up scale. LOVE IT!!

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A few months ago this food truck appeared in the streets of downtown Appleton. After eating here a half dozen times or so, I can confidently recommend the food truck called Kangaroostautant!

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Kavarna Coffeehouse

143 N. Broadway Street

Green Bay, WI 54303

Kavarna is a staple in downtown Green Bay serving amazing dishes, sandwiches and Alterra coffee.

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Serious Burger 

4353 W. WISCONSIN AVE.

APPLETON, WI

This place is SERIOUS about burgers and have delicious sweet potato fries! SB strives to buy everything in Wisconsin. Fresh and Good.

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Seth's Coffee and Bake Shop
106 E. Main Street
Little Chute, WI 54140

No doubt about it . . . these boys know how to brew some amazing coffee.
Seth Lentz demands the best when he serves you a cup of Intelligensia coffee.

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Plum Hill Cafe
313 Dodge Street
Kaukauna, WI 54130

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Alterra is a Milwaukee based roasting company.
Delish! I love me some Alterra.

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Formosa

221 East College Street

Iowa City, IA

I dined at Formosa with the ladies you see below - Lisa & Mindy.

This was Mindy's FIRST taste of sushi and she LOVED it!

Lisa

Mindy

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Java Creek Cafe

588 Boyson Road

Cedar Rapids, IA

A good coffee shop in CR.

Frequent guest are called Creek Freaks!

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Lucci's back When Cafe

606 North 3rd Street

Wausau, WI

While living in the Wausau, WI area, I frequented Lucci's. Never a disappointment. Lucci's focus is on the slow food movement.

Slow Food Movement

The primary principle behind Chef Jolene Lucci's culinary style is the 'Slow Food Movement'. The 'Movement' is an international organization that was founded in Italy by Italian Master Chef Carlo Petrini and promotes biodiversity in wine and food culture and opposes the standardisation of taste.

What this means for our guests is that we use nothing but the freshest ingredients, organically and locally grown whenever possible. There are no 'canned' sauces or cheap ingredients such as powdered spices or imitation herbs. We strive to provide you with the best dining experience possible and we believe this starts with fresh wholesome foods.

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Mo's ~ A Place for Steaks

720 North Plankinton Avenue

Milwaukee, WI 

Hey Ladies! Let me show you your choice of steaks tonight! 

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Kil@wat

123 Kilboun Ave

Milwaukee, WI

A popular appetizer is the Hot Rock!
This round rock is heated to 500 degrees and the thin slices of Kobe beef on the right are laid on the rock and cooked to perfection.

The walls are a microfiber.

As you can see I had a litttle fun.

I have dined at Kil@wat twice. the first time with 3 girlfriends prior to the Punch Brother's Concert at the Pabst Theatre. The second time with my sister for our annual girl's weekend to Milwaukee. A fantastic treat! 

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LET'S MEET FOR COFFEE OR DINNER SOMETIME!!