Have You Ever Met Yourself?

I find myself at the nearly empty Starbucks on Northland Avenue this evening. The beautiful music of Sarah Jarosz lightly plays in my ears as I sip this black coffee and think over events of the last week.

www.sarahjarosz.com

Perception is reality. How do people perceive you? I remember my close college friend, Kayla Akins sitting me down telling me, "Shelli, when people first meet you . . umm . . well . . .You scare them. You are a little too forward." That day my true friend Kayla helped me become more self aware. Do you realize how you project yourself? I certainly have calmed down since my late teens early 20s. Perception certainly is reality when you meet someone new. 

Let's say I'm at a gathering of friends. I spot a few unfamiliar faces. In my mind I would be strongly drawn to those people wanting to meet, verse, discover, learn, absorb and hopefully make a new friend. My approach now is a little slower. For the last 12 months I have become more self aware than ever before. Think about how much analyzing you do during the first few conversations with someone new. Do their annoying ticks JUMP out at you? Do you appreciate their undeniable excitement of the moment most assuredly created by the sugar, caffeine and other elements? Do they nervously chat or do they quietly sip their drink staring in their glass hoping you will create conversation? People create layers of color in your life. Is your life a top sheet and comforter or are you a buttery napoleon with multiple layers of puff pastry? Are you happy with the colors in your life. If so . . GREAT! If not . . create some conversations.

Last Saturday I babysat three amazing children!! We went to a park. Ate Candy. Went to the library. Ate candy. Ate Dinner. Went to another park. Ate more candy. Came home and watched a movie. One of them commented, "Miss Shelli, this is the SUGARYEST day we have ever had!!" While watching the kids have fun at the park pictured above a random lady sitting on the small version of the Space Shuttle started talking to me. "Your children are just adorable!!" Of course I replied letting her know these were not my children. Focused on my new Kindle I guessed this would be then end of the conversation. That would be a big no! Question after question after question. Are you from the area? Why did you move here? How many siblings? Are you married/children? As I stood near this mid 50ish lady answering the machine gun of ?s, I realized I met myself, only a few years down the road. She was there with her daughter and her daughter's 2 children. She let me know her daughter was working on her doctoral degree and her daughter's husband suddenly passed away a year ago at the age of 35 from a heart attack. There was a pause. She looked at me and I could see the pain. "We just don't understand why this happened. So sudden. It's so hard to see my daughter go through loosing her husband."

I listened and realized in the beginning of our conversation she desperately needed a friend outside her circle just to hear her. After a few minutes of standing, I sat on the grass crossing my legs close to me and opened my ears wide to listen to this lady at the Rocket Ship Park in Neenah, WI. She was visiting her daughter, grand children and now was visiting with me.  Carol was a simple lady that lived in Green Bay. For some reason I envisioned every square inch of her house decorated with figurines, chotchkies, pictures and memorable items gathering dust but each having a special place in her heart. Carol was friendly and not afraid to ask questions of a new person. Deeply impacted by loss and not afraid to share this with a stranger. That day I caught a glimpse of the person I could become and it made me smile.

Do you know someone that closely mirrors your personality? Actions? Reactions? Pictured above is my 4 year old niece Riley Jean. The natural similarities of our personalities amaze me. I watched Riley and her sister Sydney this past Friday night and saw even more similarities. With leotard and ballet slippers on Riley twirled around and around and around on the hardwood floors of the living room. Carefree. Happy. She also shares my short attention span and intense love for people. 

I hope at the end of my life, I am covered in colorful layers of people.